Task Jokes

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.

I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?

Crewmate: What's Sawcon?

Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!

I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

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How many people does it take to wash the dishes?

Only Juan.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

Other person: Yes.

Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

Person one: Why did the boy go home?

Person two: Why?

Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!

My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.