What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
