Swing jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
"Creeper, aww man,"
"Today we back in the mine, got our pickaxe swinging from side to side, side, side to side."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"