Suspect Jokes

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

after 6 months of lockdown

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er

how did the villagers identify the masked rapist?

he was the only one in the village who believed the victim

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger, with that, no one will suspect you!

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him, I answered "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.😝😝😝😝😜😜🥱🥱🥵🥵🥴🥴🥴😩😩😃😃🤗🤗🤗🤗🤫🤫🤫🤫😊😊😊😊😊😉😘🥰😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🥴🥴🥴🥴🤕🤕🤕🤒🤒🤒🤧🤮🤮🤮🤮😩😬😣😳🌛🥶🤧🥵😩😫🤧🤑🌜🥵😦😳😮🙁😢🤐😫🌜🤤😘😫😬🥱😘🥴🤣🙂😑😏😑😏😏

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group

I suspected that it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.

one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."

Imposter:did you do saw con task Crewmate:whats sawcon Imposter:sawcon Deeze nuts

There is one rapist among us

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.

if red get vote out whit happed

red is not vote red is a hacker so he kill blue ok so

some one fondy blue boddy red sud where

lime and green and prup sud how is red not die

red am a hacker u noobs

lime and grenn and prup run

red killd therem all red the win but he is not the win

black killd red black is the win lol

When a person went to a restaurant they died once they were in 3 people were a suspect 2was suspected cause she served the food”turns out it was the food

It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released Frick Da Police, a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum

A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted Asian Jake Paul on the wall of the front of his house.

Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

Hours later, police found 4 suspects

"Explain"

Sus 1: I don't vandalize

Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy

Sus 3: I fucking RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol

Sus 4: I eat bricks

Police: I know who RiceGum: Who? Police: ITS-

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Notice anything in the number crowd?

Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct

Someone kills a emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying. No one will suspect the killer was, anyone who took part.

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"