Suspect memes

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.