Suicide jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

What's the difference between you and Hitler?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

How did the inkjet printer kill himself?

He drank cyan-ide.