Suicide attempt jokes
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
Community talk
Extremely depressing poem I wrote last year when I tried to kill myself
They were an inch wide and a centimeter deep But I don’t remember the length As I passed out in fear I remember staying pure Not being afraid of what I could do But I broke that years ago Last year, they used to be a millimeter wide and a nanometer deep An inch long I cried yet it wasn’t enough for me I remember being hot The wool sweater … Read more
Ok, I need to make some things straight. This site has gone into chaos because of this stupid stuff that’s been going on, so right now I’m only gonna tell the facts. No stupid false stuff, no fluff, nothing. You guys need to understand what happened. A week ago, I attempted scuicide by overdose via Benadryl and a mix of other random opioids. This was around 7:55 AM EST. I passed out, making a big banging sound, awak… Read more
Hey folks, Its YouCanCallMeLewis, I survived suicide after some time in an asylum and a hospital, gonna try again. My acc got banned so I'm done, adios, folk.