Suicide prevention jokes

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:

Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?

Because they are always sucking dick.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"