Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
