Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window. When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food." When the man looked confused, the owner said; "Windows are nature's vending machine."
There are 4 people in a line three stand up and say we are standing up for cancer and then thers the one in the weelchair
Yo man, stand up
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up
Why do disabled always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves
The teacher asks her class "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says "sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
What does the Bible stand for? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
why would a dead guy lie?
because he can't stand up
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely
Teacher: " Stand up class" She is sitting down. Teacher: " Whoever stands up is stupid."
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".
Man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is with an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!". "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached".
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says 'I was just going to say that'
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
the fat kid asked the teacher "is godzilla real" the teacher said "they're standing right infront of me"
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away it's chair
its so sad that Stephen hawkings cant stand up for himself
Why was Stephen hawking always bullied? Because he couldn’t stand up for himself
