Spider jokes
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.