Spider

Spider jokes

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!