Species

Species jokes

Animal

    • One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

    ...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

    Species memes

    Mom

    • Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

    Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

    Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

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    • WASP

    • God creates a wasp :)

    God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

    Angel: okay... a bug.

    God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

    Angel: weird.. but okay...

    God: and give it wings.

    Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

    God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

    Angel: *shook* o-okay

    God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

    Angel: . - .

    God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

    Angel: *cries*

    Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

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    • Species memes

    Community talk

    • Actually, Alain, while humans are capable of cruelty, selfishness, and betrayal, judging the entire species by its worst behavior overlooks the amazing qualities that humans also possess. Unlike dogs, humans have the capacity for complex reasoning, self-sacrifice, creativity, and empathy that go far beyond instinct. People have built hospitals, created systems of justice, rescued strangers in times of disaster, and devoted their lives to helping others they may never even meet again. Human intelligence is not proven by perfection, but by the ability to reflect, grow, and consciously choose compassion despite flaws and conflicting desires.

    • The difference between dogs and humans is that dogs are grateful, while humans often are not. It is a rare trait to find in many humans. Hence quite comical when humans are called the most intelligent species, yet they are often the ones who harm/banish/ruin others of their own kind. In the end, humans can be considered the most intellectually limited and dumbest species on this planet, unless some of them develop true humane qualities. Isn't it ironic?

    Have a nice weekend, everyone.

    Community