SOS jokes

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.

Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.

Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!