SOS Jokes

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Please.

Please who?

Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.

Lol.

A split-panel image. The left panel shows a hand holding playing cards (an ace and a king). The text above reads, "My hands look like this." The right panel shows a hand signing a document titled "Divorce Application". The text above the document reads, "So hers can look like this."

Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.

He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

What do you call an ant with so much power?

A ter-mite.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.