SOS jokes

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...

Robbie: It's been raining???

Ty: Yeah!

Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

If the USA is so good,

Why did they make a USB?

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

I laughed at my life so hard.

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Why are the English so bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen.

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they do not know where home is.

Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.

Why are orphans so fond of shadows?

They're the only thing that accompanies them always.