SOS jokes

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.