SOS jokes

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Yo mama so fat, Flash couldn't run around her.

Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.