SOS jokes

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and went right.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.