SOS jokes

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.