SOS jokes

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!

Me: Just like me.

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.