SOS jokes

Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.

You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."

Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.

Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.