What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
SOS Jokes
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
Gwen, why are you so nice?
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
