SOS jokes
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Memes
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.