SOS jokes

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

Person 2: “What happened?”

Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

Person 1: “I was in my car.”

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!