SOS jokes

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because no one misses them.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.