SOS jokes

Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because no one misses them.

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

Person 2: “What happened?”

Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

Person 1: “I was in my car.”

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!