Solving jokes
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
The doctor gave me 6 months to live.
So I shot him.
Judge gave me 20 years.
Problem solved.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.