Solving jokes
Your mama is so fat.
She went on a diet and solved world hunger!
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a