Small Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off

What do you call a baby potato 🥔?

Small Fry!

How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender

Step on ur small sister foot she will always open her mouth like a dustbin

small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.

Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression all you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove

What is michael Jackson's favorite instrument, a small skin flute

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks😂

What comes up on small oceans micro waves

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail? There is a small medium at large. (Pause For Laughter)

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ̈You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you? ̈ The Cuban simply says, ̈See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap. ̈ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Oh, OK. ̈

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ̈You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you? ̈ The Russian simply states, ̈See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap. ̈ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Ah, yes! Of course. ̈

The American scratches his head and goes, ̈I think I see the pattern here. ̈ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window! ̈

I was always to I’m to small to ride but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!