Situation jokes

What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?

One is wanted and one's not.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

What kind of videos can't orphans watch?

Family-friendly content.