Last time I ate a vegetable I got banned from my sisters group home.
no one is smart i am smart
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
so i got my sister shampoo for her birthday and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
Your sister: You're so ugly. me: but we look the same so whos also ugly?
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with "I think I need to break up with you"
my mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT me: what's for dinner Mom and Dad: food The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD my brother and sister what's for dinner: mr: food ;-;
Dr Suess Dark jokes HEY THERE LITTLE MISTER IM DATING YOUR SISTER!!!
Myq sister told only onions make you u cry so i alway hit her back when she hit me but i hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
you know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?" How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Where's, my sisters friend oh I forgot we are in Alabama
Step on ur small sister foot she will always open her mouth like a dustbin
My 3 year old sister kept saying i like your cut g everytime she does i dodge and close my eyes but she's the one who always end up running
Why dose the basketball never get a date ........ Because they dribble. ✌️✌️✌️✌️
why was six so scared of seven. because 7 ate 9
Sister- why do shampoo have directions
Me- cause God made you
I saw my sister sucking a big toe
My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
