If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
I wasn't planning on going on a run. but those cops showed up out of nowhere
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late??
A cold shoulder
If this post gets 200 likes or comments I will show up in a mrbeast video
imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren't russian. They were probaly stalin.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why am I talking to the mirror.
Stephen hawkings shows up to a car meet up
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake but his subjects showed up at his castle with a christian instead. And he said: NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
... I guess her rubber broke too
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work? Because it was on strike.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded '' I don't know it all happened so fast''.
As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
“ when the ugliest cat looked at you“ then you search up the ugliest thing in the world” you show up
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
A woman has been raped by a man, she calls the police and a policeman shows up - Woman: Please help officer I have been raped! Officer: No problem ma'am, I will just unrape you Woman: Whhat? Unrape me? How?
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
