Shes

Shes jokes

Kid

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Cheat

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Memes

Trump

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

Pregnancy

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Cookie

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

Wonder Woman

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Hooker

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Ass

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Mom

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Marriage

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.