Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
someone: stop making jokes about sh!
me; OH sorry man, ill cut it out, ill cut it out deep
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her. Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the hunger games cuz she thought it was a eating competition. Yo mama is so ugly when santa claus saw her. He yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t" Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didnt let her leave Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!! Man: We have the power of the sun itself! President: Drop it on them! Man: You push the button President:*sigh* Fine give it to me Man: Hands over button President: Pushes it Both: YAAA! President: Bumps into the button pressing it again Both: Oh, sh*t
Meanwhile in japan after the first bomb went off Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
A butt saw the toilet and said "Sh#t I'm sick.
