Sexual health jokes

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."

Know what a 6.9 is?

Another good thing screwed up by a period.

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.

How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?

My dick.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"

Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.

So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.

Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.

PENIS PENIS

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!

What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?

If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!

Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"