Sewing jokes

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp!"

The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?

Never mind, it was needle-ess.

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms, and needles.

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

Why couldn't the button get off the couch?

Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.