Sewing Jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms and needles.

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp"

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

Mommy mommy! Do we own a sweatshop? Shut up and keep sewing.

Your Mom is so friking fat,THAT WHEN SHE RIPPED HER PANTSAND WENT TO THE SEAMSTER THEY SAY WE DONT SEW CURTAINS

If I had a face like yours, I’d sew my parents!

IN THE MORNING AT 6:30 AM

Teacher : who fought in the world war I ME : Trump & Biden Teacher: Oh ok ..... well good job class see you tomorrow and study your books

AFTER SCHOOL

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing ''She looks at her clock'' Teacher : And now I am sewed

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."