Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
Self Pleasure Jokes
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.