Seafood jokes
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What do they say when they answer the phone???
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana? A salmon-rai.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.