No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Seafood Jokes
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
