Seafood jokes
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
my new twin
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.