Seafood

Seafood Jokes

Ocean

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Cancer

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Lesbian

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

Crab

How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.

Shop

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Apple

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!

Fish

Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

Mama

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

Fish

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

Woman

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

People

Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?

They have to see food to eat.

Tuna Fish

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

Glue

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.