Santa Claus jokes

What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?

Klaustrophobic.

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

A: He only comes once a year.

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"

"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

How many wives does Santa have?

Ho Ho Ho!

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.