Rodent jokes
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4