Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Hey girl are you an orphan? Oh that’s right I’m your daddy.
Been watching smackdown dvds and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist? Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older. || 20 YEARS LATER || Johnny: Mom now can you tell me why cuss words exist? Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them. Johnny: Damn Mom you shoulda told me that when I was still seven cuz now I really feel like that person.
Your friend lost his left arm and After getting Out of the hospital you ask him if he’s OK He says yeah I’m all RIGHT
doctor: I will deliver the baby right away Dad: I would the baby to have a liver
i thought you were just raising your eyebrow but I checked x-ray and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right
i heard guns kill people, so i gave up my right to own one.
Then i heard dicks rape people, so i chopped it off.
“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
they put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library
Deals is bully right Denise like a bully type of rock is a piggy
You know that i drink water right? I drink water bc of i am water water is water
me so cutie right
Oil and Ass Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2 Bubble Butt Bonanza 2 Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2 Big Wet Butts 5 There Will Be Cum 9 Mandingo Rocks That Ass Big Butts Like It Big 2 Blowjob Ninjas 5 Keep It Right There 2 Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6
This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.*
P.S If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.
When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time
