I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said spiderman, no way home. I said "Proabaly becuase its so relatable, right?" He started crying I dont know why.
What is doing a woman with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
You know stairs right the dark my there is something I know that if you fall down the stairs your balls will be crushed
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be Doing you right now but I’m not
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones. Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea
Are you serious right neow bro
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
you and your sister always get into a fight a she says "i dont care" then you say right away "about you"
Why was the noble gas not emo? Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
(amazing pick up line) yoo what if we got matching tattoos u get 2 towers and i get a plane, Bc i crashed right into ur life ;)
Last night i shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel, We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a hand-job So did my friend on the right
I had a dream of skiing.
How many hooker's fit in a Cadillac? About 4 in the trunk if you stack em right
I cut my dick it is all right now and half the size but makes for excellent breakfest
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" >The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, " Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I ***KNEW*** that damn thing had wheels!"
A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.
Woman do have rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesse:do you like my ball Mike :yes they are very big i can’t even fit them in my mouth you bought a new ball right Jesse : no they do not leave me
