Recreational Drug jokes

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

Wanna hear a joke...

I don't know, I'm too high.

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

I was gonna clean my room

before I got high.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.

One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.

Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!