When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Question; What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer; You say to her; "NICE TOOTH"!
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
Q: What is 9 + 11 A: 9/11
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is... . . . . . . . . She said nothing....
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
