Quantity jokes

What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.

What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?

1 baby tied to 5 trees.

Sorry, no adults allowed.

Only 3 per person.

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?

A different sized elephant.

What's the best thing about 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?

One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them!

What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

102, if you have some alive ones.