Quantity jokes
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men. 25 at a time.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
