Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive
Jimmy asks a elevator operator what he thinks of his job The operator shrugs and says "It has its ups and downs"
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open so I asked “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain
why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
it was 2 tired
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but someone bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Knock Knock Whos there? Ach Ach who Bless you
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?" "Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
what do we want plane noises when do we need it neeooooooowwwww
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean the called the land a beach.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Why did the M&M go to school? It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.
How do poets say hello? Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised
*(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)
