Procreation jokes

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

Cousins make dozens.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Louie's parents tried this.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?

God chose Plan B.

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."