Procreation jokes

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?

God chose Plan B.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.

If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.

Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.

Louie's parents tried this.

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?

Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.

The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Cousins make dozens.