The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other "What do you think about that mad cow disease". The other replies "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole.".
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
