pirate's jokes
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
What did the Autistic kid say to his bully?
ARRRRRRRRR!
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."