Pirates jokes

Pirate

Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck!

Pirate

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.

A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"

Pirate

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

Memes

Movie

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

I am guessing you don't understand :(

Pirate

Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

Because he has ALL of the booty!

Booty

Pirate

What does every pirate hate?

A small chest with no booty.

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.

The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

Pirate

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

Pirate

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

Pirate

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

Pirate

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

Pirate

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"