Pilot jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

What’s New York’s favorite game?

2001 flight simulator.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.