Phone Number jokes

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.