Performer jokes
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
Why was the rapper always calm during performances?
Because he had a rap-titude for chillin'!
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?