Penalty

Penalty jokes

Son

    • My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

    “Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

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    • Penaldo

    • Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

    Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

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    • Penalty memes

    Time

    • 🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

    C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    Gotta dive and cry some more.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

    Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

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    • Smoking

    • I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."

    But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

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    • Dinosaur

    • I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

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    • Penaldo

    • MISSING!!

    MISSING!!

    Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

    Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

    Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

    Last found - Practicing tap ins.

    Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

    Might be dangerous towards good players.

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    • Run

    • I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

    Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

    Shame on you, Pessi!

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    • Doctor

    • My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

    My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

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    • Penaldo

    • I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

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    • Satellite

    • I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

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    • Penalty memes