Parent jokes
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.