Parent jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
Why do orphans not know Dom Toretto?
Dom Toretto cares about family.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.